Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm Late! I'm Late!

So much to say, so little time to say it. On the road this week.

Lots of exercise last week, but no losses. No gains either, so that's a good thing.

Just 12 miles running, but 3 spin and one weight class. Not bad! Still need to work on bumping up the mileage to get into the marathon training plan. Should be at 20 miles now with a long run of 8 -- Yikes! Have much work to do.

I want to talk about a serious issue, but I have to warn you, if you get queasy easily, DON'T READ ON! If you don't like the sight of blood, SHUT THIS BROWSER WINDOW NOW! If you're younger than 16, pregnant or have a heart condition, STOP! (Okay, I just added that part for a comedic interlude, but you get my point.)

If you're still reading, I will not be held responsible for anything that results from this post.

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Here we go. . .

The topic is Boobies.

When I started to run longer distances, my buddy Dave had warned me about boobie pain. The pain is generated from the male boob rubbing against a shirt while running. On some longer runs, I've experienced the pain and am generally careful to cover with a band aid. That has done the trick. Normally, this hasn't been a problem for distance of less than 6 or 7 miles.

At the Baltimore Marathon, I recall seeing a runner pass my check point with two red streaks running down his shirt from his chest. I get a bit queasy myself just thinking about it.

So, last week, I hit the treadmill at the gym for a good 4 miler. It was a really good run. I was wearing my brand new white Team in Training technical t shirt. I noticed some mild pain, but nothing more. I finished my run, walked past all everyone else out the door and turned toward the locker room. At that point I looked down and saw it. What? C'mon, you can guess. I know you can. Do I have to say it? Yikes. Yes, a big pool of red on my shirt. (My NEW WHITE shirt.) Holy crap, it looked like somebody had slaughtered a pig on my shirt. Immediately I thought about the room full of exercisers that I had just no doubt nauseated. I quickly took my towel and walked in such a way to cover as much of the carnage as possible en route to the locker room. Suddenly, my little nips were burning. This wasn't supposed to happen for just 4 miles.

Quickly, I took off my shirt in the locker room and headed to the shower. Couldn't wait to wash off. ARGH! The water pressure, mixed with sweat brought the pain to a new level.

Of course, I was most concerned about my new shirt. After a day of work, I brought that messy shirt home and showed Deb the carnage. Thankfully, I'm married to the Spray-and-Wash queen (one of a vast array of talents possessed by my fantastic bride.) A few hours later and waa-laa, one clean and nearly brand new TnT tech t-shirt.

If you're still reading, I won't go into the gory details of how my little band aids fell off during my run the next day with a repeat performance. Poor little guys.

So, what have I learned?

1. Wear better prophylactics -- bad things happen when they come off!
2. Wear a red shirt. . .
3. Or a black shirt.
4. Buy more Spray and Wash.
5. Look down before exiting the gym.
6. Listen to the pain.
7. Never, ever go unprotected!

Any other suggestions, friends?

I think that's enough for today, don't you?

L'Chaim!

13 comments:

Dan Seifring aka "OBRATS" said...

Only suggestion here is take pictures for the res of us next time.

Cheryl said...

Oh, that sounds so painful! Whenever I hear of this problem, it makes me think of that old Seinfeld episode, where George's dad and Kramer (I think) invent "The Bro". There should be such a running garment for men. But I suppose you guys would all be too macho to wear it! :-)

Anonymous said...

Purchase some nip gaurds. They might stick a little better than the bandaids did: https://www.nationalrunningcenter.com/prodinfo.asp?number=NG

Pat said...

wear your heart rate monitor higher. I don't know if that would work. I've only had the problem once when I was running in the rain and it just hurt, no red streaks.

Or you could cut holes in your shirt.

Emil Von Runner said...

I've had the problem of hurting nips, but never got the blood yet. I've found that if I wear a compression shirt I don't get the pain, because there is no room to rub.

Jeff said...

You want pictures? Actually, that was the plan, but Spray-and-Wash Queen was way too fast for me.

Yes, the bro would work, especially with former fatties with sagging boobs.

Don't usually wear the hrm on the treadmill, so that's out.

Compression shirt is a good thought. Will have to give that a try.

Anonymous said...

Heh.

Sorry, Jeff. If it's any consolation, sometimes it happens to the ladies, too.

Please ask the spray-n-wash Queen her blood-ridding secrets. Certain people with clumsy tendencies would love to know.

Pokey said...

OMG Jeff.....I dont mean to laugh at your pain........oh wait ~ YES I DO!!!! Sorry, this post had me ROFL!!!

Then as usual, I laughed even harder after reading Pat's suggestion!!!!

OMG....breathe, Pokey :)

For once in my life, I am now grateful to be a woman that wears a running bra that an earthquake would be unable to move ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot the mention: BodyGlide. I don't think it's up to a long challenge, but for a few miles it might do the trick!

Marathoner in Training said...

Jeff, It looks like we are on the same team (BlogWalkRun - Pat's team), so I thought I would stop by and say hi. Nice topic, I can relate, when I was at the RNR AZ marathon expo, one of the booths had male nipple covers. Personally I prefer Duck Tape. It does not seem to fall off (or want to come off). I personally use bodyglide.

Chief Wahoo said...

Been there...

Get yourself some bodyglide and apply liberally.

Pat said...

did you see episode 401 of The Office called Fun Run. Watch it at http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/episodes.shtml

It could have been called bloody nipples.

J~Mom said...

Sorry about your pain! Isn't this running stuff fun? :>)