There is no such thing as anonymity for a fat guy. People may not speak to you, but they can't help but to notice you. No matter where you go, you are there, front and center. It doesn't matter if you are in line at the super market or at the dry cleaners, fat folks are noticed.
In the last few months, I've observed that people notice me less. A lot less. Most significantly, it's wherever there are tight quarters. Used to be, I'd hate certain restaurants where they either 1) have lots more booths than tables or 2) have tight spaces between tables. I hated having to ask people to scootch in to get by, then still have my belly rub their chairs. Embarrassing.
Yesterday, I traveled for work. I was in line at security at BWI and I noticed an old co-worker in line 20-30 people behind me. I kept looking at him and I know he saw me, but it never registered with him. After I cleared security, I waited for him. After he cleared, I yelled out for him -- hey Guy! (the French-Canadian pronunciation, lest you read it incorrectly.) He turned around but didn't notice me. GUY! Finally, he saw me, for sure. His reaction was memorable -- "OH MY GD! I would have never recognized you if you didn't call out for me."
We talked for a few minutes, then I boarded my flight. Talk about anonymous -- used to be I'd sheepishly try to hide my 414 pounds from other passengers to prevent the ultimate reaction, particularly when they realized they either had the assigned seat next to me or, on Southwest, they see that the ONLY open seat is next to the fat guy.
Last night, I ran into a woman that used to work for me. I was going into a single wide door, she was coming out. I've known this woman for six years. I trained her and she worked for me for three of those years. She made eye contact, then walked right by me. Almost the exact same reaction when called out Rachel's name.
It's really weird being anonymous. Whether it's walking down the street or in the gym or on an airplane, I've become just another stranger, not the fat guy. Still need to work on getting my brain to accept that.
Anonymous is good. . . I think.
L'Chaim!
3 comments:
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's funny when you first start to notice how differently people treat you as a smaller person.
It's really one of the coolest things I think, the anonymity. Since no one recognizes me I also have the bonus of picking and choosing who I re-introduce myself to, so I get to leave those I didn't like much in the dark as I walk right on by.
Self-consciousness has turned to self-esteem. A beautiful thing.
That's a very good kind of anonymity. They don't recognize you because you look like a whole new person! That's a good thing.
I flew last summer and was humiliated to realize that my flab was hanging over into the next guy's seat. I spent the whole flight trying to squeeze myself in the other directon so as not to inconvenience him. Totally embarrassing! I hope to be skinnily annonymous like you someday.
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