I was truly looking forward to the summer running and biking season. With Frederick over and lots of miles to ride, I expected the pounds would just fall off. Looking at my Garmin uploads and seeing thousands of calories worked out of my system, I was SURE I'd be hitting my long term goal any day.
Well, my friends, that was then and this is now. Seems like all of those "free" calories took their toll. I haven't seen the 220's in almost 2 months. Yesterday, two days after the half and just 9 days removed from the Seagull (and the 8000 calories burned that day), the scale showed an eye popping 237. (Point Four!) The last time I weighed in at this heft? March 17, nearly 7 months ago!
Unlimited carbs for all of that exercise, right? Um, yeah, right. Ice cream before bed is cool, right? Hey, it was all low fat. I admit, it might not have been exactly the serving size on the container, but who eats those paltry servings, anyway. OY! Okay, I understand why. I did it to myself.
Now, before you start to comment with "It's okay, you'll get back on track" and "Hey, Jeff, you did it before, you can do it again" or "Dude, look where you came from, this is just a small blip, you'll be right back," wouldya just save it! Look, I'm just pissed at myself. I did it to myself and I missed an opportunity to drop those last 25 pounds, which are now the last 38 pounds.
Problem is, I started to enjoy food again. For two years, I got myself into a position where food was just subsistence. Now, I look forward to food again. I have my favorite places to eat and things to eat. For a long time, there was the boring old salad bar at the local Weis market for lunch. Now I crave Panera. Crave may not do my feelings for Panera justice -- when I die, I want to be baked into one of their multi grain baguettes and dipped into vegetable soup. I'm telling you, I'm in love. After Saturday's half, we hit my favorite Mexican spot -- chips, salsa, my clean plate, then I finished my kid's plate. There's the old Jeff in fine form.
What I need is a kick in the ass. Some serious tough love. Gotta get outta my friggin' food loving ways or I'll be playing Santa this Christmas without added padding!
No nice comments, please. Nothing peppy or I swear I'll delete it. I'm tellin' 'ya, I need the pain.
L'Chaim!
14 comments:
Ok-You are at 237 and want to be at 200... So get off your butt and do what you know you need to do.
Its really does just come down to that. Where is your commitment? where is your passion for this new life? What is Ice Cream before bed costing you?
It's up to you- personally speaking your were my good friend at 400lb and you will be at 200lb so it doesn't matter to me.
Go do what you KNOW needs to be done.
I am sitting in the same boat dude. Sucks.
Amen Jeff.
I get the same 'nicey-nice' comments all the time.
Bottom line, is that I eat too much. Sure, I workout like a dog. But...I have a HUGE appetite!
I can keep up with the fit runners in my group... but I can also keep up at the All you can eat sushi bar too.
I kicked myself in the ass 3 weeks ago.. and so far I'm down 5lbs! You just gave yourself that kick also... :)
I look forward to celebrating your weight loss goal with you!
Jeff, get your eating habits back under control. I could take the advise myself of course.
Keep this up and you'll be at 250 again soon.
It's rather disturbing how easily we fall back into our old habits.
It's like my wife told me. Carb loading is for the skinny runners. And you ain't no skinny runner. Darn, I could use some of those nice friendly comments.
DUDE!!! No more eating for the fun of it. It is called portion control. Exercise it! Do you know how hard it is going to be now that we are heading into the Terrible Triple Threat--Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah/Christmas??? Now that is the kind of food that might just want to bear it's teeth and kill you rather than comfort you.
Start weight training if you have not already done so to build muscle mass and increase your metabolism. Keep on top of your aerobic exercise. Go easy on the gels, endurance drinks, and other race nutrition if it starts exceeding or matching what you are burning. Stay away from office mail rooms/lunch rooms with their evil trays of cookies. STAY AWAY FROM PANERA!!! For touting itself as being healthy, Panera has some of the most caloric dense options on the eat out menu! Last of all, no ice cream before bed. Ice cream is now a reward that you can only have after you have put in over 25 miles of training...and I don't mean on a bike.
Was that enough tough love???
Jeff - it really goes against my nature to kick people in the ass - I personally prefer to kick my own ass.
Are you kidding me? I come to this blog for inspiration and you tell me that you have been goofing off with your calories? Eating ice cream? The SHAME! You let me know when you have things back in order and THEN I will come back and read again. GEESH!
Ahhhhhhhh I kid I kid...I can't do it. LOL But I won't say anything nice either. Even though I do understand. ;>)
jeff..so glad you found my blog because I am here to kick your ass....
You know what you have to do and beating yourself up wont do anything...but that doesnt mean i cant beat you up...
btw..its odd..but just after i post a item about ray lewis a guy (you) from baltimore stops by my blog...weird....i think not...
good luck... I echo what coach liz says.....
ME! ME! ME! OVER HERE!!!
I'll kick your ass for ya....no problemo!! (although me thinks that last night you whined at me for it, right???) ;)
So just STOP IT. Stop beating yourself up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! You know what you need to do, so lose the pity party and go DO IT.
NOW.
I am totally in the same boat, so maybe we should just trade daily emails of mutual ass kicking? I usually rely on Micheline for these sorts of things (she is a prime, A #1 Ass Kicker, you know) but I can can always use more tough love ;)
So do what you gotta do. No whining.
(and I sent you a great email) :)
Grrr. Raarrr. Bad Jeff.
Okay, now seriously: have you or Deb looked at any of the Eating Well books, cookbooks, or magazine? I'm loving them: truly epicurean-delight recipes with full macro breakdowns and calorie counts that can work into your eating plan. Take a look! I also found a great quote in their new VTrim book: "When motivation fails, try self-discipline." And maybe think about that question I emailed you a few weeks ago.
-e
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff,
This from the guy that inspired me for a 50 mile ride and swimming a mile (all in one day)!
Waa, waa, waa. Get over it dude.
Monday meet me at 5:45 AM at the Athletic Club and join us for week 7 of Boot Camp - as they say, there's no crying in boot camp, throwing up maybe, but no crying.
You obviously has some amazing friends giving you great advice.
You still rock dude!!
Bryan
Hi Jeff, By accident, I stumbled upon your blog and immediately was sucked into your story. A very inspiring read.
I too am turning my life around and I can very much relate to your experience of running the 10 miles when you realized you would never be the same Jeff again. I had that same experience a few weeks back when I completed my first sprint triathlon after training for several months.
After that experience, never will I be the same unfit, depressed and overweight David again. While my weight problem was not close to what yours was, I could feel myself heading that direction fast.
Let me say this, One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the gift of health. In giving that gift to yourself, you will inspire others to also give the same gift to themselves and the domino effect goes on.
You have no good excuse not to give yourself this gift. You owe it to your future, your family and your loved ones. I assume you have no illness or disability. You have everything you need to become the person you want to be. No excuses. I hope I didn't just waste the last 20 minutes reading your story because when I found out you were back to 237 I was kinda disappointed. It was like I was watching Rocky and I just knew you were going to win...and now...237.
So you let the old Jeff...the old unmotivated coward that gives in at the first hint of something tasty, you let him kick you down. That behind you now. Its time to "kill the coward" Jeff. You have everything you need to get it done. What you've done so fare is incredible.Congratulations. But guess what, your not done yet.
Its time to make some bigger sacrifices with your diet and your exercise. Its time to feel a little more pain.
Getting and staying healthy is a lifestyle. A LIFESTYLE. So get it out of your mind that someday you will "arrive" and you will get to go back to eating lots of ice cream and late night snacks. Those days are over Jeff. Say goodbye. Its a lifestyle not a diet. It will be hard but you will thank yourself for having the determination someday.
Here are some quotes that have inspired me...
"Genetics might load the gun but lifestyle pulls the trigger"
"Hunger is ugly leaving the body"
"There is a certain joy in the pain of exhaustion"
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
'I become a happier man each time I suffer.'
-LA
"There are two times to train - when you want to, and when you don't."
"Stop saying 'I'm going to exercise' and start saying 'I'm going to train'...it makes you more bad ass"
"Ride like you stole something"
LA to F Landis
"Without pain, there's no adversity. Without adversity, no challenge. Without challenge, no improvement. No improvement, no sense of accomplishment and no deep-down joy. Might as well be playing Tiddly-Winks."
Scott Martin
"Don't look away, it's the life that you choose, now believe it."
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