Finding The Path

November. Incredible how time flies. We've been Texans for more than a third of a year. Before long, my folks come out for Thanksgiving and we head back to B-more at the end of the year.

This past weekend was the Marine Corps Marathon. As I watched my buddies post their excitement and results, I couldn't help but to feel a sense of loss for not being able to be there in person to cheer them on in person. Other than missing celebrating the Jewish holidays with my family, this was one of the toughest "misses" so far. Congrats to all of my Team In Training friends that finished on Sunday.

It's been a time of reflection, too. Thinking back on my personal accomplishments as they relate to this blog, I can't help but to feel disappointment in myself. Just one year ago, October, 2009, I completed the Seagull Century bike ride and the Marine Corps Marathon. Truly a watershed month from where I had come. Since then, it's been mostly a dearth of activity. A DNF at the Hotter than Hell 100 in August, my longest ride of the year since. As for running . . . well, that's been almost non-existent. Last week I struggled to run/walk 2.15 miles in 30 minutes. How far I have fallen.

The understatement of the year is that I'm struggling with food. Many of the old habits that I haven't seen in four plus years are back. I know what needs to be done and I'm ignoring the little guy in my head that says to do it. I handled Halloween poorly and need a plan. It's not that I don't have plans. I've planned over and over. Sometimes that plans go all the way through lunch. But what the hell is it going to take to get my back to my old (good) eating ways.

Last October, I recall struggling with my weight in the 230's. When we got to Texas this summer, I was struggling with my weight in the 260's. This morning I breached 280. Struggling? Yes.

I can tell you about all of the plans that I've had, but if I don't put them into action, they're worthless. I plan to go to the gym. I plan to go for a run (or run/walk). I plan to ride my bike. I plan to eat better and I start the day right, but then . . . I slide down a slippery slope.

I look at pictures from a couple of years ago and struggle to find my current face in the frame on the wall. No need to remind me that I was once the guy in the volcano picture on my blog at 400+. I feel like this part of my life began sometime after July, 2006.

I'd like to share my goals, but for now, they seem so hollow. 260 by the end of November. 250 by the time we get to Baltimore. 220 by next June -- Zach's Bar Mitzvah.

I know where I want to go. Just need to find the path again to get there.

L'Chaim!