So much for my plan to blog more often. It's not that I haven't thought about it. I've started posts at least half a dozen times. I've got them right here in the blogger to prove it. I've started even more in my head.
The past few months have been crazy. Travel nearly every week. One or two good weeks of exercise on the road, but most trips just one shot at the gym or on the road. It's been tough.
Eating has been tougher. I've tried, but not enough. I get on a plan for short bursts, but then I'm off again. A great weekend of working out turns bad on Monday's travel.
I feel like I've gone back to that fat guy that I'd left behind. My clothes don't fit and I've even been forced to buy new pants and shirts. Size 40 and XXL. (Though I insist on wearing my 36 jeans way-too-tight.) Thankfully, I'm teetering in the mid-250's, sometimes almost 260, and not the 300's or, god forbid, the 400's.
The big boss at my company is impressed with my loss and is generous in sharing my accomplishments with others. I wish I didn't feel guilt that "almost 200" is now "well, about 150" pounds lost.
I've lost such fitness, I can hardly believe it. Running a mile without stopping is difficult. I read my friends facebook posts about 10 mile runs and I cower to think how far that is. Then I recall that just five months ago I completed a marathon!
This was to be the year of the bike. My neighbor and I had talked about doing a 100-mile ride on May 1. Last weekend, I though 22 miles was going to kill me.
I go to boot camp where I could not so long ago push out a couple hundred push ups in the hour, not to mention whatever else Kenny had to offer. Now, I'm reduced to my knees after a dozen or two.
I'm lost. I need to find that mojo that I kept for three years. I need more than one day in a row of good eating and exercise.
It's me. I'm not looking for compassion. I'm not looking for a kick in the ass. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it.
L'Chaim!
7 comments:
Jeff, if anyone can hop back on the wagon, it is you my friend! I hope to see you out at TNT one weekend soon. It was my first weekend time back since the fall yesterday and it felt like coming home :-) Although today my legs feel like someone beat them with a brick - hehehe.... Have a good one!
Ok- Jeff, I'm here to help- you know you inspired me into this living healthy losing weight and enjoying life thing. So if I can avoid the talking Pop Tarts- so can you.
Seriously buy a pro- fit Ultimate GYM- its a series of bands that you can exercise with, its totally packable so you don't need to worry about finding a gym or the time to run- it is not a replacement for either but will help you keep moving, keep the body fit. It's easy to use, it comes with a DVD and all.
Its hard being on the road all the time. If you would like some help with an eating plan and using the Ultimate Gym I am more then help to help.
Big Hugs my friend
Chin up, my friend. You'll get there.
I'm thinking about doing the MCM weekend 10k this fall. You in?
you can do it!
It requires dedication my friend.
Jeff - every challenge is a mountain RANGE, not a straight ascent. That is, you climb one, and there is another one in front of you....so you have to go down the other side of the one you're on - but you don't go all the way to the bottom...just a little bit down, then head up the next hill (rinse and repeat). It's not a question of if, just when, and how much you walk until you start up the next one. Thing is, many of us are taking that same journey with you. You have never walked alone on this. As for me, I will meet you ANY DAY at 5:30 when you're in town to hit the mill and put the miles on (like the old days) - just know that you climb a mountain the same way you have finished a marathons...one step at a time. Lace them up!
I am a true believer that everyone has good months and bad months. How you turn the bad months into good ones is recognizing you're having a bad one. You have clearly done that and you continue to be super motivated. You have an incredible motivation "team" behind you. You just have to keep taking those steps forward, no matter how small.
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